The destination wedding edit
The case for doing it somewhere that matters, the locations and looks I'd recommend, and learnings from my very own destination wedding
I’m a big fan of destination weddings. An invite to deeply celebrate love in a far-flung place? Sign me up!
I was just viscerally reminded of this love at my friends Daniel and Carlos’ wedding in Mexico City a couple of weeks ago. Something about watching two people I love get married in a place that’s already very emotionally significant to me cracked my heart wide open and left me drowning in a puddle of high viscosity love. I left reignited, and also praying for more destination weddings to attend. Maybe I’m insane, but bear with me.
To me, a destination wedding is an intentional wedding, because it’s a call for loved ones to show up fully. They have to carve out real time to be there, to book the flight, and to be fully present… or, for those that aren’t all that invested to not show up at all because there’s too much friction. And that’s kind of the point!
Destination weddings are obviously commitments for guests, but they’re also a beautiful way to bring those nearest and dearest to you closer, and they ask something of the people you love, which means the people who inevitably end up attending actually really want to be there. There’s no obligatory plus ones, no coworkers you invited out of guilt, and no family members who come for the open bar and take off before the first dance.
A destination wedding is, among other things, a brilliant way to cull the invite list, and I mean that with nothing but love! (Small print: you have to actually be okay with people not coming. And I mean really okay. More on that later.)
What you’re left with is a room full of people who chose to celebrate with you— people who rearranged their lives, spent their money, figured out pet care and childcare, and got on the plane… and that’s not just a guest list, that’s your community, all in one place.
Consider this a guide for celebrating love abroad—whether you’re dreaming of a destination wedding, attending one, or elbows deep in the planning process, here’s where to do it, what to wear, what to actually consider before you book the venue, and an honest reflection from someone who has been on both sides of the aisle, as both a destination wedding bride and guest.
xx,
Bella
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The case for a destination wedding
One of the common misconceptions of a destination wedding is that they’re all luxurious, extremely expensive indulgences. And while it might feel that way from the outside looking in, it’s not just something you can pull off when you have the budget and the audacity.
I’d actually argue the opposite! Getting married at a cookie cutter country club America can be diabolically expensive. I’ve been to several average weddings with steak-or-chicken menu selections, wilted centerpieces, and a DJ playing that Bruno Mars wedding song while everyone checks their phones instead of dancing. It’s actually easy to spend $150,000 on a wedding that feels like a copy and pasted corporate event, and many people do… and there’s nothing worse than attending one of these events and knowing deep in your bones that a couple spent that much money on something so lackluster and impersonal.
A destination wedding can absolutely cost this much too, but it genuinely doesn’t have to. And even if it does, the value is different: you’re receiving something fundamentally different for your money, because you’re not paying for a room and a meal, you’re paying for an overall experience, and you’re paying for the magic that happens when the people you love and care for are somewhere new together and the ever-ordinary rules of life don’t apply.
And don’t get me wrong—a wedding at home can be so beautiful, so considered, and so special! There’s also something unbelievably magical about a New York City wedding, an upstate wedding, a civil ceremony, a backyard wedding, and zero shade if you’ve decided on one of those directions. I love them all, and there’s no feeling more exhilarating than taking the subway home from a wedding and sleeping in your own bed after!
But what I love about a destination wedding is that you have days together, not just hours. There are several shared meals and shared mornings and exploration side quests and a rare intimacy of being together in a foreign place with those you love.
Destination weddings I’d want to attend
Copenhagen in the summer
Copenhagen in the summer is Europe’s best kept secret. The days are impossibly long, everyone is outside eating and swimming, and the culture is fabulous. It’s not the first or second or third place that people think of when they think of a destination wedding, which is exactly why it works. I’m imagining a ceremony in the greenhouse at Frederiksberg Gardens and a group cold plunge the morning after at La Banchina.
It’s also logistically one of the easiest European destinations for American guests, because it’s well connected flight-wise, English is widely spoken, and it’s walkable in a way that will make the days surrounding the wedding feel effortless instead of absolutely draining.
One thing to note: June and July in Copenhagen are genuinely magical but book up really fast. Plan further ahead than you think you need to, and tell your guests to do the same!
What to wear if you’re the bride
What to wear as a guest
Italy in May or October
Shoulder season definitely is the way to go here. The crowds are manageable, the lighting is gorgeous and makes everything look straight out of a Renaissance painting, and there’s no insufferable heat to deal with!
Rent this chic 18th century villa outside of Lucca and get hitched in the backyard. It’s close to town for open-air market adventures, has verdant Italian gardens, a tennis court on site, and sleeps up to 22 guests. Plus, Lucca is a great jumping off point for both city and Mediterranean exploration—Portofino is a stone’s throw away, as is Florence.
One thing to note: Venues that are fully booked in July and August often have May and October availability, and at better rates. Your guests will also thank you for not making them wear formalwear in sticky Italian summer heat!
What to wear if you’re the bride
What to wear as a guest
Mexico
Invite me to a wedding in Mexico and I’ll be the first to RSVP. Mexico has real range, which is part of why I love it so much. And it’s pretty easy to get to from America. There’s Todos Santos for a desert-meets-ocean backdrop, Mexico City (as Daniel and Carlos just reminded me) for the couple who wants a colorful city celebration, and Mérida for something that feels deeply rooted in Mexican history and culture in a way that will stop guests in their tracks and leave them speechless! Whichever region you choose, you’ll be welcomed with warmth (both from the weather and the people), and a genuine celebration that will feel alive in a way that’s hard to manufacture anywhere else!
One thing to note: The haciendas outside Mérida are some of the most spectacular wedding venues in the world and most people have no idea they exist!!
What to wear if you’re the bride
What to wear as a guest
Greece
I’m dying to witness a couple have their own Mamma Mia wedding: something casual, unfussy, barefoot, and dreamy with sweeping sea views! Hydra is car free, which means guests can get around by foot, water taxi, or donkey—it’s very quaint, and quite the experience! I’m picturing the wedding taking place at this small bed and breakfast and the bride wearing a white bikini under her dress for the following beach party.
One thing to note: Greek wedding vendors are extraordinarily talented and often booked years in advance. If Greece is calling you, start earlier than you think you need to, or go simple!
What to wear if you’re the bride
What to wear as a guest
Courthouse wedding + a friend trip
There’s something very special about getting married at home surrounded by close friends and family. It’s small, simple, cheap, and intimate! After the courthouse ceremony is done, migrate somewhere special with a small group of chosen friends—explore Costa Rica, spend a long weekend in the Cotswolds, head to Ibiza for dancing and a bit of a party. A combo wedding is lowkey one of the most romantic things you can do because it successfully separates the legal act from the celebration and given both the attention they deserve. And the trip becomes the reception and the honeymoon all at once!
As a guest, being invited on an intimate trip like this feels like a rare treat. You made the cut! You’re loved! You’re getting to be a part of something special!
One thing to note: This is always less expensive than a traditional wedding and almost always more fun!
What to wear if you’re the bride
What to wear as a guest
Elope in your favorite place
Take ten of your closest friends to your favorite place abroad and get married there. That’s it—that’s the whole plan. Make the entire weekend an intimate party filled with your favorite things. Dinner at your favorite restaurant, drinks at your favorite listening bar, a midnight swim in the ocean. You’ll leave feeling connected to your partner and your friends in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine!
One thing to note: This is an incredible option if you have a massive family and want a small wedding, or if you want to avoid family drama altogether.
What to wear if you’re the bride
What to wear as a guest
What to consider before you book
So you’ve decided on a destination wedding. Good for you! Here’s everything I wish someone had told me before mine, details from my own wedding day, and what I share with every client couple before we even start talking about venues, locations, and room blocks.