How to define your life's purpose
hint: it's already living in what you do!
What is your purpose? What is your superpower?
Those are two questions I’ve asked and been asked time and time again—in work contexts, in friendship contexts, in so many contexts. For a long time, I found answering these questions to be utterly exhausting and filled with pressure. The pressure of feeling like I was supposed to be born with the knowledge of why I was placed on this planet in the first place. What would my contributions towards humanity be? Why do I exist? Does everyone actually have a purpose, and they just haven’t realized their full potential yet?
Here’s what I’ve slowly realized over time: purpose isn’t something you find or discover like treasure buried deep beneath the sand. It’s something you recognize in the patterns already there, weaving throughout your life. You don’t need a map to find it, you just need to know where to dig deep. And the place to dig is likely right where you’re standing.
Consider this the map.
My purpose was certainly lurking within me all along. When I wrote about how to define your core values a few weeks ago, I talked about how identifying my values (connection, compassion, curiosity, creativity, and community) changed everything. But there was something I didn’t fully articulate then: knowing my values was only half the equation. The other half was understanding my purpose—what I’m actually here on Earth to do with those values!
For me, building Mindholiday was the transition from identifying my core values to understanding and realizing my purpose:
To help people realize what actually matters to them and reconnect with themselves, each other, and the beauty of the world—so we remember our shared humanity and take care of this planet we all share.
If you’ve been feeling that same quiet misalignment I described in my values post—where everything looks fine on paper but doesn’t feel like yours—it might not be because you haven’t found your values yet. Maybe you’ve defined your values, but you haven’t named your purpose.
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A quick note before we dive in
If you haven’t read my post on how to define your core values yet, I’d really recommend starting there first. Trying to define your purpose without knowing your values is like trying to build your dream house without a solid foundation.
Values tell you what matters to you at your core—what you stand for, what makes you feel most like yourself. Purpose takes those values and asks: okay, so what am I going to DO with all of this?
When I did the values work first, it gave me the words and self-awareness I needed to even begin thinking about purpose. I couldn’t have articulated my purpose without first understanding that connection, compassion, curiosity, creativity, and community are my absolute non-negotiables. Those values became the lens through which I could finally see the patterns in my life clearly.
Think of it this way: values are the compass, purpose is the destination. You need to know which direction is north before you can figure out where you’re actually trying to go! Navigating without direction is a frustrating, losing battle!
So if you’re feeling lost or uncertain as you read this, that might be a sign to pause and do the values work first. Come back to this post once you’ve named your values, and everything here will land differently, I promise.
Let’s clear something up first
What purpose isn’t
Purpose ≠ your job title or your career path. Your purpose can show up in your work, but purpose is not limited to what pays your bills. This is a common misconception!
Purpose ≠ one singular thing you must do. You don’t have to choose between being a dancer or being a writer or being a community builder. Your purpose threads through all of it, weaving things together.
Purpose ≠ something that requires you to quit everything and start over. You certainly don’t need to blow up your life as you know it to define your purpose. You just need to recognize what’s already there.
Purpose isn’t about finding your “passion.” That’s pressure, not absolute clarity. Purpose is deeper and quieter than passion!
What purpose actually is
The transformation you keep creating across different contexts. Think about what has changed because of your presence and existence.
The change you want to see in the world that only YOU can see quite this way. The hope and rage that is specific to you?
The thing you can’t NOT do, even when no one’s watching or paying. The thing that would haunt you until the end of your life if you stopped doing it.
How defining your purpose is different from defining your values
In my values post, I said that values are like emotional guardrails. Values don’t tell you exactly where to go, but they keep you from veering off path. Purpose is different. Purpose is why you’re driving in the first place. Purpose is the reason you got in the car.
Think of it this way:
Values = your internal compass (what you stand for)
Purpose = how those values create impact (what you’re here to do)
Purpose is the bridge between your internal world and your external legacy.
Initially, I thought Mindholiday was just aligned with my values, but then I realized it was actually something much bigger: a vehicle for my larger purpose. Mindholiday is a love letter to meaningful travel, rooted in connection, curiosity, and compassion. I help people explore the world with intention, creativity, and respect for local communities, creating experiences that expand the soul while treading lightly on the planet and respecting local communities. But more than that? I help my travelers reconnect with themselves, with their partners, and with the world. I want them to realize what actually matters to them versus what the world has told them matters.
Ideally, I want my clients ending their trips feeling very small in a way that shows them there’s so much out there, that we are all human, and that we are all united by the universal truth that this is our home, we must take care of it, and we must love each other. Love is always the answer.
That’s not just value alignment. That’s purpose. And here’s the thing: my purpose was there before I named it! Just like my values were quietly shaping my choices before I identified them, my purpose was living in the patterns of my life—in my Tumblr fashion blog where I connected with strangers across the world, in my CPG job where I built volunteer programs to support community and planned company retreats and gatherings, in every dinner party I’ve hosted and every travel itinerary I’ve obsessively planned for clients. I just hadn’t learned to see it yet!
The moment it clicked for me
I remember reflecting last spring, reading feedback from guests after hosting Love Summit. I was processing the weekend—the intentional conversations we’d designed, the way the group had bonded in that beautiful space, how people kept saying they felt “seen” for the first time in years. I thought: “This is what I want to do forever. Help people connect deeply in beautiful places.”
And then I stopped dead in my tracks. Because I realized I’d been doing exactly that, just in different forms, my entire life. The Tumblr blog wasn’t about fashion, it was about creating a space where people felt less alone. The volunteer program at my CPG job wasn’t just about giving back, it was about helping people remember their shared humanity. Even the way I plan trips for clients isn’t about taking care of logistics, it’s about designing experiences that transform people and give them the space to grow.
The pattern was so obvious! My purpose had been there all along, quietly orchestrating every choice I made. I just hadn’t had the language to name it yet!
The 5-step framework for defining your purpose
If you feel like you’re ready to stop searching and start recognizing, grab a journal, give yourself at least an hour of uninterrupted time, and know that this process will get emotional. That’s not just ok, it’s a sign you’re digging in the right place!