Is it uncouth to recline your seat on a flight?

Mindholiday Help Desk: #001

Image: William Eggleston, Untitled (Glass on Plane), 1965–74

Welcome to the Mindholiday Help Desk—a new monthly segment where I answer real travel questions from readers and clients who are in the thick of planning, dreaming, or just trying to make sense of it all. I know how overwhelming travel can feel sometimes—so many places to go, so many decisions to make, and often not enough time to figure it all out. My hope is that these answers help take a little pressure off, offer some clarity, and remind you that you don’t have to do it all alone, because you don’t!!

Have a travel related question you want me to tackle? Email me at bella@mind.holiday, or drop your question in my Substack chat.

I am in a huge bind, help!!! I’m going on a trip in 2 months to a country that requires 6 months of passport validity. At the time of travel, my passport will only have 5 months of validity left. I am worried I won’t have my new passport in time, even if I expedite it, because I’ve unfortunately seen friends get burned before. Is there anything I can do?? - Christina

I’ve been in a similar situation. Before my honeymoon, I realized I was headed to a country that required three full blank visa pages in my passport—and I only had three left. I had several international trips coming up before the honeymoon, and I knew those pages would be filled by the time the big trip rolled around.

The problem? If I sent my passport out for renewal, I’d be grounded in the U.S. and would have had to cancel a bunch of existing travel plans. But I also didn’t want to leave the renewal until two weeks before my honeymoon, when I’d finally be back. So here’s what I did—what worked for me, and later worked flawlessly for my friend Katie.

(Yes, it involves a little white lie to the government. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do—and honestly, do we really owe the truth to our government right now?)

The workaround:

Book an urgent in-person passport appointment—take the first available slot that fits your schedule.

To qualify for an urgent appointment, you’ll need to meet the following criteria:

• You must have international travel within 14 calendar days.

• If your trip requires a foreign visa, the window extends to 28 days.

• You need printed proof of upcoming international travel.

• You’ll pay the $60 expedite fee, in addition to regular application fees (around $130, so ~$190 total).

Here’s how to check those boxes:

When the system asks for your travel date, pick any date within 14 days of the appointment. Then, book the cheapest refundable ticket to Mexico or Canada that you can find for that date. Print the itinerary as your proof of travel, and then cancel the flight after you’ve printed proof. Take the printed proof to your appointment, et voilà, it’s that simple—and it works.

If you prefer to stay honest, there’s also the option of using Clear + RushMyPassport to expedite your passport by mail. It costs about the same (~$190), but the reviews are really terrible not great. Personally, I felt more confident bending the rules a bit than trusting that system. I didn’t love lying to the government—but also, I kind of did??

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I have a big trip coming up, and honestly, the planning process feels pretty overwhelming. I'm curious—what are the actual benefits of working with a travel advisor/agency like you? And specifically, what makes Mindholiday different from booking through something like AMEX Travel? - Madison

Booking travel can be overwhelming—that’s where Mindholiday’s travel planning services come in! I think travel advisors like myself add tremendous value for five main reasons:

Personalized planning is key.

I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all itineraries. I always get to know my clients intimately, including their travel style, their wishlist, and their non-negotiables, then tailor the entire experience around the client. Whether it’s a honeymoon, a family adventure, or a break somewhere beautiful, I design trips that feel aligned with who my clients really are. No two itineraries are ever the same.

I can add free perks at no extra cost.

Through my advisor network, I can book over 170,000 hotels with VIP perks like free breakfast, room upgrades, late checkout, resort credits, and more—often better than what AMEX offers, and at no extra cost to you.

One example: a client of mine got an ocean-view upgrade and perks her friend (who booked the same room through AMEX) didn’t. Another cancelled an existing reservation and rebooked her hotel through me just to get the extras—she ended up with $200 in resort credit, daily breakfast for her and her husband, a free room upgrade (the room had a balcony and plunge pool), and late checkout.

Booking hotels through me is always complimentary! If you know where you want to go, email me (bella@mind.holiday) and I’ll book your hotel for you and add perks to your reservation, free of charge.

I have insider access!

I have established relationships with local partners. This insider access allows me to recommend hidden gems, arrange unique experiences, and provide insights that enrich your travel.

Sometimes I have access to hotel rates and perks that aren’t available to the general public—only through travel advisors. I also use software that lets me search for flights bookable with credit card points, including options you won’t find on Google Flights or airline websites. Recently, I helped a client book two tickets to Morocco using points—tickets that would’ve cost $1,700 each in economy if they had paid cash and hadn’t enlisted me for help.

Your time is valuable…

You could spend hours clicking through booking sites and second-guessing every choice… or you could tell me what you're after, and I’ll handle the legwork. I simplify the process, keep track of the details, and make sure everything runs smoothly. On average, I save clients over 10 hours of planning and research work per trip.

Human help when you need it the most

If anything goes sideways while you're traveling, I’m just a message away. No call centers or waiting on hold (ahem, Chase and AMEX)—I’ll advocate for you and help sort things out quickly so you can get back to enjoying your trip. I’ve helped clients with flight delays leading to cancelled rental cars, awry restaurant reservations, inclement weather waylaying plans, and more…

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How do you approach connecting flights? - Emma

Great question. I’m picky! I avoid tight layovers (especially internationally — 90 minutes minimum, ideally 2 hours) and always look at the airport itself: is it easy to navigate? Known for delays? Or I’ll crowdsource and text friends if I know they’ve flown through an airport I haven’t been to. I’d rather have a longer layover in a chill airport with good food than miss a flight sprinting through chaos. If the connection requires an overnight, I’ll treat it like a micro stopover and plan a fun 24 hour adventure for myself, because to me, it’s all about reframing the in-between as part of the adventure.

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I’d love to hear tips for breaching language barriers! - Kim

Smiles, gesticulating, and Google translate are the holy trinity. It really helps to try to learn key phrases before you land (“hello,” “thank you,” “how much?” “where is the bathroom” and “sorry, I don’t speak XYZ”). But honestly? Curiosity and kindness will always go further than perfect grammar, and most people light up when you just try. If you’re feeling up to the challenge, download Duolingo a few weeks before your trip to brush up on the absolute basics.

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I have four questions:

How do you budget for travel? How to travel more? How do you prioritize locations when there’s so many places you want to go? And how do you avoid “touristy places” when being a tourist yourself? - EJ

How I budget for travel

Budgeting starts with clarity. At the beginning of each year, my husband and I set an overall budget—including a travel category—and track everything through QuickBooks so we know exactly where our money’s going. For each trip, I decide what kind of experience we want (budget-friendly, indulgent, or somewhere in between), then work backwards from there. I rely on tools like Google Flights, Skyscanner alerts, and point.me (a lifesaver for using points wisely), and I try to travel during shoulder seasons when prices are better. We also mix high and low: some nights in budget-friendly spots, and the occasional splurge. This summer, for example, we’re hopping between affordable four-star hotels in Slovenia, then ending our roadtrip with a couple nights at Forestis in the Dolomites.

How to travel more

Two things: mindset and momentum. I try to see travel not just as a big event but as something that can take many shapes—a weekend trip, a workation (tacking on a weekend trip to a work trip), or a day hike with a new view. I also try to stay curious about nearby places and prioritize exploring my city whenever possible. I try to make space for travel in my life the way you’d save for something you care about—time-wise, money-wise, and emotionally. That said, I am very aware that traveling as often as I do is a privilege, and something that I don’t take for granted. It helps that my job is 100% remote, and I’m also my own boss.

How I prioritize locations when there’s so many places I want to go

I struggle with this often! I used to let this consume me—that there is so much to see, and even if I travel often, I’ll never see it all. But now I’m ok with that. I have to be.

Honestly, prioritization for me is a mix of logic and intuition. I think about seasons (what’s best to visit when), costs, flight routes, and personal pull—what’s been on my heart lately? Sometimes I go for proximity—grouping places by region—or lean into a theme, like nature, history, or food. The dream list is long, but not every place needs to happen now. I trust I’ll get there eventually.

How to avoid touristy places when being a tourist

Such a good one. I want to reframe the word “touristy” first—some spots are popular because they’re genuinely worth seeing (although that’s not always the case). But I balance it out by walking side streets (and walking as much as possible), talking to locals and taking their recommendations when I can, eating at smaller spots, and building in time to just wander. Slowing down helps. If you can, stay in a neighborhood rather than a hotel hub. That’s where the magic often is.

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How do you search for and vet hotels for a specific mood or experience that meet your personal criteria? - Erin

Great question! I start with the mood or experience I’m going for—cozy and remote, sleek and urban, spa-heavy, family-friendly, etc.—and let that guide everything. I usually start my search on Google, the Fora booking platform/forum (which I have access to as a travel advisor), or other travel advisor booking platforms, but I go way beyond the top listings. I dig into reviews (especially the bad ones), check out photos from guests, and look up the hotel’s website and Instagram to get a better feel for the vibe.

If something catches my eye, I’ll cross-check it on multiple platforms—like Tablet, Mr & Mrs Smith, Yolo Journal, or even Reddit threads or travel blogs—just to make sure it matches what I’m imagining. I also keep a running wishlist of hotels and stays I’ve stumbled across (Google Maps lists are lifesavers + I have a running page in my Notes app).

And last thing: I try to match the hotel with the pace of the trip. If we’re moving around a lot, I’ll lean simple. But if we’re staying put, I’ll go for something more atmospheric or special.

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This is a bit of a discussion in my friend group… Is it ok to recline your seat on a flight? We are split 50/50. I think it’s fine, my friends think it’s rude!

This is a huge debate I’ve seen recently all over the internet, and I think it’s insane that people think you can’t recline. Recently, my friend William was yelled at by the person behind him when he tried to recline on a red eye flight. Personally? I think it’s totally okay to recline your seat on a flight. That’s what the button is there for, and on long flights especially, it can make a huge difference in comfort. That said, I do try to be mindful. I usually wait until we’re in the air, and I’ll take a quick glance behind me to make sure the person isn’t mid-laptop or mid-meal before I ease it back. A little courtesy goes a long way.

So yes, I’m obviously team recline—but with awareness. And if I’m on a short flight, I might skip it altogether. But on a red-eye or long haul? I’m not sitting uncomfortably upright just to keep the peace. Fuck that.

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Ok, that’s it for the first edition of Mindholiday Help Desk!

Have a travel related question you want me to tackle? Email me at bella@mind.holiday, or drop your question in my Substack chat.

xx,

Bella

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